


A Modern Retelling of a Classic

by spongeson



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, SLOW SLOW SLOW BURN ????, Slow Burn, also naruto and sasuke are gay, baby bad asses, basically everyone is here, ninjas running around in 2017, takes place in a modern setting but everything is the same, waht else is new tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-01-25 03:17:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12521760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spongeson/pseuds/spongeson
Summary: AKA: Naruto If It Took Place In 2017





	1. Seals

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all its me jess 8))) i hope u guys like this i literally,, was struck by inspiration and im crying atm
> 
> im gonna try to update once a week ?? we shall see tho
> 
> the first few chapters are basically gonna be re-writes of the first few episodes ??? some stuff will change.
> 
> ((this chapter isn't MUUUCH different from the first ep but,, whatre u gonna do lol))
> 
> PLS ENJOY and if u have a better idea for a title pls lemme kno 8O

**Prelude**

The village of Konohagakure is as vibrant as it is prosperous.

On the outskirts of town sits the business district, its streets and storefronts packed tight with civilians dressed to the nines in their business casuals. The buildings stand tall and proud, pristine in their young age.

And although the business district is impressive in its size, it’s the upper part of the village that houses Konogakure’s real power.

The buildings don’t match one another, although many of them share the same clay exteriors and ruddy orange tiles as their neighbors. Interspersed are a few very recognizable convenience stores, and even more locally owned Mom and Pop shops.

Trees and apartment buildings take up the same amount of space, both lining the streets in equal measure. Children run about the streets, faster than most, but not as fast as others.

A large cliffside overlooks the heart of the village, its three faces a reminder of just what Konohagakure stands for.

And below it, nestled between even more trees, is the Hogake’s office.

-*-

 **October 10** **th** **, 2005 - The Death and Birth of a Hokage**

They had taken all of the necessary precautions, he had been absolutely sure of it. Months of preparation couldn’t have gone to waste so easily.

Kushina was in labor. They were going to be parents. She had been moved outside the village, for the safety of its inhabitants, and their baby was born.

It had all been kept a _secret._

They had taken all the necessary precautions, and still, she had been found.

The sound of bodies hitting the ground at the mouth of the cave is what first pulled Minato’s attention away from his wife. The air went still, the scent of fresh blood so pungent he could taste it.

In a flash, everything around him changed.

Minato watched as his newborn son was snatched out of Kushina’s arms, used as a bartering chip, his small and squishy form so _new_ to this world and already being used in a game of chance.

A rogue shinobi adorned in a swirling, hypnotic mask.

Kushina’s agonized scream

Dead midwives, drenched in their own blood, crumpled on the floor at Kushina’s side.

The baby, _his son_ , for the nine-tailed fox.

His son for his wife.

Minato held his arms out, shaking, and took back his son. He held him close for a moment, before a decision that wasn’t his own had been made.

He left, without a choice, without his wife, with his child in his arms.

-*-

The sky was engulfed in red. The village, once so prosperous and vibrant, was in ruins. Bodies littered the streets, having been trampled beyond recognition beneath giant feet.

Kushina, battered and bloody and holding their son, had only moments left. Minato wasn’t fairing so well, either.

“Naruto…” Kushina whispered, fragile voice breaking.

Her fiery red hair was drenched in sweat, clinging to her scalp. Her clothing was in tatters.

But still, even in her final moments, Minato found her to be breathtaking. He closed his eyes and listened to his wife whisper to their child, to Naruto, fatigue and something else settling in his bones.

He could feel himself starting to slip away.

He reached a hand out, covering his child’s bare stomach with his palm. Kushina smiled at him weakly, eyes wet with unshed tears.

At Minato’s flank stood Hiruzen, watching the scene play out before him. Minato, chest thick with regret for todays events and an unconditional love for his new family, gave his final request before placing a seal upon his son. Naruto began to cry feebly, and the light left Kushina’s eyes.

“Protect him, my friend.” Minato said, already succumbing to the pull of darkness.

Hiruzen nodded, solem. He took the crying baby from his mother’s embrace.

Minato took one last, staggering breath.

“Make sure Naruto is regarded as a hero.”

-*-

**Present Day**

His lungs burn with exertion. Blood pumps in his ears, nearly rendering him deaf to his surroundings.

He keeps running, his breath hitching, and ducks down an allyway he’s been through countless times before.

He can’t seem to get the smile off of his face.

“NARUTO !!!”

His heart jumps in his chest at his name being called so forcefully. He snorts, and starts picking up the pace.

“Hey, he went this way !!”

The grip on his paint bucket tightens and he ducks back around, out on another public street. He nearly smashes into a woman pushing a cart full of roses, and if her scream is anything to go by, he barely misses her.

“THERE !!!” comes another shout, this time much closer than the others. A man, clad in a chunin vest and standard shinobi garb, gives him chase. “Get back here, Naruto, I swear to God when I get my hands on you I’m gonna—”

“You’re gonna what?” Naruto calls back, cackling. “Gonna start asking me for pointers on how to be a better ninja ?”

That earns him an earful, and he has a hard time holding back his laughter.

“You’ve gone too far this time, kid !!” the shinobi shouts, growl heavy in his voice.

Naruto continues to giggle. His sneakers squeak noisily against the pavement, lighting up with every step.

“What’re you gonna do about it, losers ? You’re so slow !!”

He jumps over a cart of flowers and runs, skidding to a stop and pressing himself up against a fence behind an abandoned apartment complex.

He holds his breath.

“Where did he go ?” He hears someone ask.

“Fuck !!”

“I can’t believe we lost him a _gain_!!”

“That little shit’s in a whole world of trouble when Lord Hokage gets wind of this.”

The voices continue to yell amongst themselves, and after a minute they disappear. Naruto lets out a relieved sigh and steps out from his hiding spot to admire his handiwork.

Across the village, for all to see, are the graffitied faces of the first four Hokages.

Before he can begin preening himself on a job well done, a strong hand grasps his shoulder from behind, scaring him shitless.

“You seem proud of yourself, Naruto.”

Naruto stiffens at the familiar voice and whips around, eyes wide in surprise.

“Iruka Sensei !!! What in the heck are you doing here ??”

That seems to be the wrong question to ask as it results in the imposing figure of Iruka Sensei to grow to twice his normal size. His usually kind eyes are ablaze with anger as he points a finger in his student’s face.

“No, Naruto, what are YOU doing here ?” He snaps. “You’re supposed to be in class right now !!”

Naruto swallows nervously, eyes darting at the space between his teacher’s face and the cliff displaying his masterpiece.

“Uh—"

He doesn’t get a chance to respond, however, before he’s carried bodily away, kicking and screaming, by his teacher.

“Don’t start with me, kiddo.” Iruka Sensei deadpans, tightening his grip on this student’s struggling form. Naruto huffs indigently, but ceases his movement.

After a full minute of being toted by his teacher, he’s unceremoniously dumped onto the classroom floor. Soft snickers come in waves from his classmates, and they stare openly at him as their teacher collects his thoughts.

“Naruto.” He sighs, dragging a hand down his face. “Naruto, I’m at the end of my rope here. You failed the graduation test last time, _and_ the time before that.”

More laughter from the peanut gallery. Naruto’s face pinches up in irritation.

Iruka Sensei continues.

“Tomorrow you’ve got another chance, and you’re already messing up again !!”

He gives Naruto a meaningful look. Naruto lets out a pointed _harrumph,_ much to Iruka Sensei’s chagrin.

He splutters, beyond words.

“Y—You know what ? Fine !” Iruka Sensei snarls. Naruto winces at the sharp tone, but keeps his gaze averted. “Because you missed it, Naruto,  now the entire class has to review the Transformation Jutsu !!”

The class lets out a collective groan. His classmates make no attempt to hide their displeasure and glare at Naruto openly as they walk past him.

Already used to it, Naruto gets to his feet without a word and takes his place in line.

Iruka Sensei nods at the class, hand on his chin. He levels his gaze on Sakura Haruno, who’s already busting at the seams in her eagerness.

“Sakura, you’re up first.”

“Yes, Sensei !” She chirps dutifully, taking a step forward. Naruto tries not to make it too obvious that he's staring at her, and when she glares back he quickly avoids her gaze. A look of determination crosses her face briefly.

“Okay, here we go ! Transform !”

A cloud of smoke covers her completely, before dispersing. In her place stands an exact replica of Iruka Sensei.

Iruka himself looks a bit surprised, but otherwise pleased with the results.

“Ah, you transformed into me. Very good, Sakura.”

Naruto bites his nails as Sakura transforms back. She smiles gleefully, boasting her talents and pumping her fists.

Naruto stares as she rounds on Sasuke Uchiha, her eyes glimmering brightly as she awaits his praise. He pays her no mind, and steps forward when his name is called.

His transformation is the same. Iruka Sensei falters only slightly, shocked at seeing another copy of himself, before nodding his assent. Sasuke takes his place next to Sakura, much to her satisfaction.

Naruto rolls his eyes and glares at his feet. Iruka Sensei sighs audibly.

“Naruto, you’re next.”

-*-

Naruto scowls, the front of his shirt and jeans soaked with soapy water. The stone faces stare back at him mockingly, still slathered in wet paint.

“This bites.” He grouses, scrubbing the nose of the fourth Hokage. Iruka Sensei, perched upon the stone faces, gives him a tired look.

“You’re not going home until all of the paint is gone. I mean _all_ of it.” He warms, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

“Who cares ? It’s not like I have anyone at home waiting for me.” Naruto snaps, scrubbing harder. Iruka Sensei is suddenly awash in some sort of feeling, like guilt and understanding. He rubs the back of his neck.

“Ah, Naruto?”

“What do you want _now_ , Sensei ?” Naruto asks, pout evident both on his face and in his voice. Iruka Sensei stifles a laugh at the expression.

“Well, I was just thinking that maybe, after you clean all of this up,” He says, crossing his arms slyly over his chest, “I might take you out for some ramen. The good stuff. How does that sound?”

He smiles at his student, and if the grin on Naruto’s face is anything to go by, he already has his answer.

“How does that _sound ?_ That sounds like REAL motivation, sensei ! I’ll have this cleaned up in no time !”

His scrubbing picks up with vigor. Iruka Sensei laughs fondly, watching the boy work.

-*-

The day of the final exam comes and passes.

But Naruto, unlike the the rest of his classmates, does not.

He can’t shake the anger that courses through him. The anger at himself, at Iruka Sensei, at _everyone_ for being better than him.

“I can’t pass him.”

The phrase echoes through his brain as he sits alone, watching the other kids fawn over each other and their new leaf forehead protectors.

At least Mizuki Sensei seems to understand, if only a little.

He’s the one who lets him in on a little secret.

-*-

The moon is full and shines brightly overhead. It casts ink black shadows on the forest floor below, where Naruto is currently sprawled out.

A large scroll, the one Mizuki Sensei told him about in excruciating detail, lays before him on the ground. Naruto puzzles over it, scratching his head in confusion.

“Uh, let’s see..” he says, slowly, reading the contents of scroll to himself aloud. “The first one is called Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu…!!” he slides a hand into his hair and tugs on it in frustration. “UGH !! You’ve gotta be kidding me ! This is my worst jutsu !”

He growls lowly, just about ready to throw in the towel, when he pauses. He looks at the scroll again, reaches out a steady hand and traces his fingers over the characters. He sets his jaw determinedly, straightening his back.

“No, I have to do this ! I need to make Iruka Sensei proud !”

-*-

It takes him hours to get it down.

He fumbles through the hand signs, screws up the execution more than once, but he finally manages to create a few solid clones.

Naruto wipes a bead of sweat from his forehead. His chest begins to swell with pride and relief.

Footsteps knock him out of his reverie. His glances over his shoulder and spots Iruka Sensei, walking towards him with a look of disbelief on his face.

“Its all over.” He says quietly, laughing. Naruto beams at him, scratching his head and giggles. This gives Iruka Sensei pause.

“Got me already, Sensei ? Not bad ! I only had time to learn one technique !” Naruto squawks proudly. Iruka continues to stare at him, his eyes the size of saucers.

“Iruka Sensei, listen !” Naruto says, scrambling to his feet. He’s practically buzzing with excitement. “I’m gonna show you this amazing Jutsu and then you’re gonna _have_ to let me graduate with the others ! It’ll be okay ! That’s the way it works, right ?? Anyone who learns the jutsu passes ??”

Iruka glances down at the scroll, now rolled up and tucked against his students back. His eyes dart back to Naruto’s face, expression utterly lost.

“What are you talking about ? What in the world gave you that idea ?”

“Mizuki Sensei told me about it !” Naruto insists, gesturing to the scroll on his back. Iruka Sensei’s expression falls. “He told me to find the scroll ! And this… place.” He stares dumbly as Iruka Sensei’s expression turns flat. His teacher seems lost, only for a moment, before he jumps into action.

“Naruto, look out !”

-*-

In the end, Mizuki Sensei turned out to be nothing but a liar.

Naruto, overcome with emotion, tightens his grip on Iruka Senseis headband. He can't seem to get himself to talk. He can't seem to get himself to breathe.

His teacher, like a beacon of light, smiles up at him from his spot on the ground. His dark eyes sparkle with pride and more than a touch of fondness.

“Congratulations, Naruto." he says, smile breaking across his face. "You graduate.”

 


	2. Class Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all sorry this is so short my powers been out for 5 days thanks to a huge storm so I couldn't write until right now LOL
> 
> ENJOY TYSM

Dawn breaks over Konoha in the form of a languid stretch. It starts off rosey, pulling itself into a tangerine and peach mix before finishing off with robin’s egg blue.

The sun shines brightly, almost exaggeratedly, overhead.

Naruto, bundled to his chin in blankets, blinks the sleep from his tired eyes. He stares blankly at his wall, completely bare save for a few tacky posters strewn about, waiting for his sleep-addled brain to catch up with him.

His body relaxes into the soft warm cotton of his sheets, and he has half a mind to roll over and go right back to sleep before realization decks him between the eyes.

He shoots up ramrod straight, amped up with a newfound energy, and reaches over to turn off his alarm halfway through its first beep.

An eager grin spreads across his face, freckled nose crinkling with delight. He has to quell the urge to holler at the top of his lungs.

It’s a very near thing.

Naruto, always the overzealous one, launches himself out of bed and makes his way excitedly to the kitchen. He disentangles himself from his sheets with a few halfhearted jumps, and kicks himself free when those attempts prove fruitless.

He rummages through his barren cabinets and snatches a cup of instant ramen hiding on the top shelf. He starts up his electric kettle and waits for the water to boil.

Naruto takes a seat at his kitchen table, drumming his fingers in anticipation, wanting to get the whole “breakfast ordeal” over with, and quickly.

Patience was never his strong suit.

“Today’s the day.” He says between eager hums, resting his chin in his open palm.

The kettle whistles.

“Lets eat !!”

-*-

After breakfast, which only lasts a mere 20 seconds thanks to his heartfelt noodle-slurping, Naruto all but runs to his room to get dressed.

His closet, small as it is, is overflowing with dirty laundry and discarded food wrappers. From nearly empty rack he grabs a black mesh undershirt and a black athletic jacket.

From the floor he grabs a pair of orange and blue athletic shorts, not bothering to give them the sniff test.

He dresses himself in record time, zips his jacket to his clavicle, and chances himself a glance in the mirror.

He nearly makes a grab for his army green goggles before a flash of blue pulls him out of his routine.

There, sitting on his dresser, is Iruka Sensei’s headband. The silver plating of the forehead protector gleams tantalizingly in the morning sun, almost enough to make Naruto’s mouth water.

He can wear it. He graduated.

Shaking the nerves from his hands, Naruto snatches up his headband and quickly ties it into place.

“Nice.” He says, offering his reflection a thumbs up. “I look like a real ninja !!”

He allows himself a little holler, just a small one, before pumping his fist in the air and bolting towards the door.

He pulls on his sneakers and does up the laces, bidding his empty apartment farewell before slipping outside.

He bounds the staircase two steps at a time, nearly falling towards the bottom, and sets off on a light jog towards the academy.

The trip nearly goes without a hitch.

There was a little run in with Konohamaru along the way, but as Naruto’s self-proclaimed rival, it was bound to happen sooner or later.

Naruto thinks the kid is weird, but he likes him well enough. Mostly he just enjoys the attention, even if it is a little misguided.

Eventually he ends up at the academy gates, and after less than a minute of wandering the empty halls he enters his classroom.

He isn’t the first person there, but he certainly isn’t the last person and that’s enough to keep his smile firmly in place.

What does manage to send his smile flying, though, is the sudden realization that one of the only available seats near the back of the class is right next to Sasuke.

Naruto pauses mid-step through the door, weighing his options.

Avoid Sasuke and give him the satisfaction, or sit next to Sasuke and rub it in his dumb smug face ?

Duh, no contest.

Scowling, Naruto stomps over to the vacant spot and takes a seat.

Sasuke seems to be paying him no mind, at least for a moment.

Suddenly, Sasuke turns his head and meets Naruto’s stormy blue eyes with his own cool and collected gaze.

“Stop staring at me.”

Naruto jumps in surprise, not expecting Sasuke to acknowledge him so soon. He quickly schools his expression into another glare, this time looking Sasuke in the eye.

“Oh don't flatter yourself, Sasuke !!” He snaps, leaning forward on their shared desk. Sasuke looks like he wants to roll his eyes and just barely manages not to.

“Believe me, I’m not.” Sasuke drawls, looking back towards the front of the room.

Naruto goes to argue again before stopping himself, not knowing if he was just directly insulted or not.

“Hmph.” He grunts, crossing his arms over his chest.

The tension between them is almost physical, but only Naruto shows any sign of feeling it. The scowl on his face deepens as the minutes tick by.

Shikamaru Nara surprises him by being the only person to outright ask him why Naruto is there with the rest of their graduated class.

“Oh, wow, I dunno Shikamaru, why don't you use your eyes and take a gander at my regulation headband ??” He says smugly, grinning up at the other boy.

“Answer your question ?? We’re gonna be training together from now on.”

Shikamaru, unimpressed, glowers at Naruto with his hands planted firmly on his hips.

“Geez, whatever.” He says tiredly, rubbing his eyes in disinterest. He’s gone in a flash, taking a seat beside Choji Akimichi.

Naruto grins after him, adjusting his headband in satisfaction.

That satisfaction doesn't last long, though, thanks to a set of strong hands pushing him out of his seat.

“Ow ! Hey, what gives ??” He snaps from the floor, glaring up at his assailant.

A great, pink and maroon blob takes over his vision, staring at him meanly from above.

Suddenly, Naruto forgets how to breathe.

“Move it, Naruto !” Sakura barks, toeing away his prone form. Her angry expression turns into something much more subdued, a little more shy. She faces Sasuke.

“Hi, Sasuke. Is it okay if I sit next to you ?” She asks kindly, holding her heart through her shirt.

Sasuke stares at her, his expression blank.

Quick as a flash, Ino Yamanaka comes running down the steps from the doorway, blonde hair whipping behind her. She pushes past Naruto, past Sakura, and into the empty seat.

“Hiya Sasuke, what's up ?” She asks with a grin.

Sakura lets out a strangled yelp and grabs Ino’s wrist, tugging with all her might.

“Get out of my way, Ino, I was here first !!” She snaps. Ino balks, eyes wide.

“No way, Billboard Brow, I was here first !!” She counters. “Everybody saw me !!”

The argument goes like that, back and forth, and before long a whole flock of girls are making a grab for the empty seat next to Sasuke.

And Sasuke looks completely unfazed by it.

Naruto growls, picking himself up off the floor.

His sneakers flash and light up with every stomp he takes.

Shoulders straight, Naruto leaps onto Sasuke’s desk and glares at him. The room falls silent. Sasuke still isn't looking at him.

Annoyed, Naruto kneels in front of him, determined to get his attention.

“Hey.”

“What.” Sasuke asks, meeting Naruto’s glare with one of his own.

Sakura looks horrified.

“Naruto !!” She scolds, rolling up her sleeves.

She’s emitting pure, concentrated aggression.

“Naruto, stop glaring at Sasuke !!”

Naruto jolts at the sound of Sakura’s voice, but persists.

Their staring contest only lasts for a few seconds longer before Naruto is sent toppling into Sasuke from behind.

“Oh crap, sorry !” One of Naruto’s classmates yelps, whipping their head around. “Did I bump you ??”

Everything seems to be moving in slow-motion-- Naruto can see everything, from the expression on Sakura’s face to the lashes on Sasuke’s eyes.

And what was once a slow-motion dive into Sasuke’s personal space turns into an eon of accidental lip touching.

Silence befalls the classroom.

Naruto can hear a faint buzzing in his ear. His heart stops beating but he can still feel it in his face.

‘Oh, God, GROSS !!!’ He wants to yell.

The classroom suddenly erupts in noise. Naruto, finding the last of his strength, pulls himself away from Sasuke with a wet smack.

He doesn't know if his face is actually on fire, or if he’s going to throw up his stomach. Sasuke doesn't look much better, his usually pale face flushing pink, dark eyes wide.

Naruto wants to gag, and he nearly does. Sasuke grips the edge of the desk, shoulders drawn up to his ears.

The sound of a sneaker scuffing the floor next to them breaks Naruto out of his panic.

“NARUTO !!” Sakura and Ino scream in unison, their uniquely different faces masked with matching expressions of ire.

“H-hey !!” Naruto chokes out, curling in on himself. He can tell that his face is still beet red.

“C’mon, guys, it was an accident !!”

Sakura looks utterly unsympathetic. She cracks her knuckles menacingly, the other girls backing her up for once.

“You're dead !!!”

-*-

Naruto ends up on a team with Sakura and Sasuke.

The thought of training with Sakura doesn't help alleviate the pain of training with Sasuke, no matter how pretty and smart she is.

It doesn't help that she also said that he's annoying, to his face no less.

And their Jonin instructor is late.

Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto are the only people left in their classroom-- even Iruka Sensei has left for the day.

“This is unbelievable !!” Naruto howls, jumping to his feet. “It's been hours already !! How come our teacher is the only one that's late ??”

Sakura narrows her eyes, and crosses her legs primly at her seat.

“I don't know, Naruto.” She sighs, flicking a strand of pink hair over her shoulder.

Naruto stomps a foot in irritation and stalks towards the chalk board.

“Well it's getting really annoying !!” He grouses, snatching up an eraser. “Everyone else is already out there, probably on some big adventure or something !!”

“That's doubtful.” Sasuke says, tone bored. Naruto’s ears perk and he rounds his glare on Sasuke.

“Who cares !!” Naruto snaps. “They're all ahead of us now !! Every single one of them !!”

That seems to stir something inside of Sasuke, if only a little bit.

“Hmph.”

“Naruto,” Sakura says after a beat of silence, “What exactly are you doing with that eraser, anyway ?”

She sounds suspicious. Sasuke glances up, eyes almost curious.

“Yeah,” says a mysterious voice from the doorway. “What ARE you doing with that eraser ?”

Naruto lets out a little scream in surprise and drops the eraser to the floor.

“What eraser !!!”

-*-

Kakashi Hatake is the name of their instructor.

He gives off a commanding aura that's calm and cool, meant to intimidate.

In Naruto's opinion, he’s just a mysterious one-eyed man in a Jonin vest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey pst I feel like I shouldn't have to say this but I don't want any misunderstandings so: 
> 
> nart and sock's reactions to their little smoochie-smooch is supposed to resemble their reaction in canon-- it isn't some homophobic code on either side-- the same can be said abt Sakura and Ino
> 
> just wanted to get that squared away JUST IN CASE 
> 
> anyway !! thank u for reading I kno it's still similar to the show rn but I promise,, it will deviate 8D
> 
> (if u noticed that I didn't make Naruto drink the milk its bc that part literally,, always embarrasses me I can't put my bb through that)
> 
> also find me on Tumblr @legsweat !! it's an art blog and I don't post much but I'm always there so pm me if u wanna chat !! 
> 
> xoxo
> 
> jess


	3. Pop Quiz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys !! i know im a lil late w this chapter but its here now B)
> 
> this is the last episode re-write for now !! i needed to set the stage, and quickly, before jumping into the actual story 8O
> 
> i hope u enjoy !! ive been editing this like a madwoman but if there's anything that seems off PLEASE let me kno so i can fix it 8'O tysm
> 
> xoxo

****The survival test Kakashi Sensei has them undergo the next day is grueling.

Naruto was sure that he was going to pass. It seemed easy enough-- snatch a bell from under Kakashi Sensei’s nose, and become a real ninja. 

Now, however, Naruto isn’t so sure.

He was the first of “Team 7” to try anything other than hide, but that didn’t work out in his favor. His soaked shoes and swollen cheek can attest to that.

He does try, though. He puts all of his strength into his attacks, but he can't help but fall short every time.

And, in the end, trying isn't enough. Not on his own.

He’s captured soon enough, and is forced to wait out the rest of the test tied to a wooden post. He struggles against the ropes halfheartedly, his small body still tired and sore from his earlier skirmish, before giving up. There’s nothing for it, anyway.

After what seems like an _eternity_ of waiting, the testing bell finally rings.

Sasuke and Sakura emerge from the forest a few minutes later, making their way wordlessly to Naruto’s post. They both collapse on either side of him, twin bundles of exhaustion and disappointment.

“So,” Naruto says after a beat of uncomfortable silence. “How'd it go ?”

Sakura casts Naruto a heavy glare. Naruto flinches under the pressure of her gaze.

“I think it's pretty obvious, _Naruto.”_ She snaps, bright eyes wet with angry tears. “We failed." 

Naruto sighs, knocking the back of his head against the wooden post. He glances over at Sasuke, who still hasn't said anything.

His heart sinks into his stomach. 

“This sucks.”

Sasuke and Sakura don't reply, but the sentiment is there. Naruto kicks his dangling feet against the post, his sneakers lighting up obnoxiously in his teammate’s faces.

Sakura pinches her nose up in distaste, momentarily pulled out of her mourning. 

“Naruto, you know you can't wear those if you’re going to be a ninja.” She says, eyes narrowing at the multicolored lights. Naruto balks at her. 

“Of course I can !!” He says defensively. “If everyone else gets to wear their flashy clown suits then _I_ get to wear my light up shoes.”

“They’re impractical !!” Sakura says, scooting around to face Naruto properly. “A ninja has to be stealthy. And these, Naruto ?? Aren't stealthy.”

“Oh c’mon, Sakura…” Naruto whines, lower lip quivering in a pout. Sakura rolls her eyes in disgust and they continue to bicker. 

Sasuke sighs through his nose, catching the other’s attention.

“It doesn't matter.” He says lowly, drawing his knees up to his chin. Sakura winces at the conviction in his tone.

“What do you mean by, ‘it doesn't matter’?” She asks, dumbfounded. Sasuke stares at her, his expression unreadable.

“We _failed_.” He says. “Kakashi told us what that meant at the beginning.”

Sakura opens her mouth to protest, but stops herself. Naruto grinds his teeth.

“Well, maybe there was a catch !!” He crows. Sakura and Sasuke give him a murderous look, and he swallows thickly. “What ?! It could happen !! All the best movies have a twist at the end !!”

“This isn’t like one of your Disney Princess movies, moron.” Sasuke mutters under his breath. Naruto sputters indignantly, embarrassment covering his face.

Before he can give his rebuttal, though, the sound of two bells jingling in the distance captures the team’s attention. 

Nose buried in a book, Kakashi Sensei saunters over towards the kids. He hums softly in his approach, body language deceivingly casual. 

He pauses about five feet away from where the children sit, and his humming comes to a stop. He closes the book and pockets it, giving the genin team his full attention.  


Kakashi Sensei makes a sweeping gesture with his arms, most likely a sign that he’s about to speak, before three growling stomachs cut him off. He snickers after a moment of embarrassed silence, tapping his fingers against his cheek. 

“Uh-oh.. Hungry stomachs?” He asks, eye smiling. 

“That's too bad... Oh !” He pauses, as if remembering something. “And about this exercise -- I've decided that I'm _not_ going to send any of you back to the academy.” 

Naruto whoops, laughing excitedly.

“See ?!” He shouts, beaming at his team mates. “I _told_ you guys there was a catch !! Believe it !!”  

Sakura looks less sure.

“...Huh ? We passed ?” She asks, tilting her head. She makes an odd sort of expression, mouth half-smiling in disbelief. “All I did was pass out and fall over. Do we get points for that ?” 

Kakashi Sensei doesn’t answer her question. Naruto and Sakura both smile and cheer in excitement, taking their instructor’s silence for affirmation. 

“All three of us !!” Naruto cries happily. “You hear that, guys ?? All three of us !!” 

Kakashi, with his single smiling eye, nods. 

“Yes.” He says, dryly. “All three of you are being dropped from the program. Permanently.” 

Kakashi’s voice is cold. All three genin visibly tense up, staring at their instructor in shock. 

A proverbial pin drops, and Naruto’s hackles rise. 

“Are you KIDDING me ??” He shouts, struggling against his bindings. “That's bull crap, Sensei !! You can't just give us a set of rules and then change your mind at the last minute !! Why would you do that ?!” 

“Because you three don't think like ninjas. You think like little kids.” Kakashi snarls, taking Naruto by surprise.

His eye, the only part of him that's kept un-hidden, lights up his face with ire. 

“You think like _brats.”_  

The silence that follows is deafening. Naruto frowns, not liking how Kakashi’s words feel floating around his insides.

He can hear something shifting on the ground to his right.

It goes like this, frame by frame; Sasuke jumps to his feet, runs towards Kakashi, and attacks him with abandon. 

Kakashi gives Sasuke a bored look, completely unfazed by his outburst. He dodges Sasuke’s attacks with ease, side-stepping and countering all of the young boy’s punches. He catches one of Sasuke’s rogue fists, twists his arm back, and shoves him face-first into the ground. 

“Sasuke !!” Sakura cries out, hands covering her mouth in shock. 

“You think it's all about you.” Kakashi says. He presses his foot roughly into the side of Sasuke’s head, rendering him immobile. 

Naruto and Sakura watch on in muted horror. 

“ _None_ of you understand what it means to be a ninja.” Kakashi continues lowly, leaning over Sasuke to speak to them more directly. “You think it's some sort of game.” 

“W-What ?” Sakura asks weakly, pallor turning white. “What do you mean ?”

Naruto casts her a nervous glance, urging her to remain quiet.

“What I _mean_ ,” Kakashi says, although it is directed more towards the group than to Sakura herself, “is that you three completely missed the point of the exercise.”

Blue and turquoise eyes blink up at him imploringly. 

Kakashi sighs in exasperation. 

-*- 

The point, of course, was team work. 

After giving the kids a much needed wake-up call with stories of fallen allies and the dangers of living as a shinobi, Kakashi grants them a second chance. 

They break for lunch, Kakashi disappearing into the brush while Sasuke and Sakura dig into the provided bento boxes. 

Naruto, as punishment for trying to eat before the others, gets nothing. 

It's silent save for Sakura and Sasuke’s enthusiastic chewing. Naruto’s stomach feels like it's starting to digest itself. 

He groans in discomfort, his small body trying and failing to curl in on itself in an attempt to stave off the pain.

“This is fine, guys, I've gone longer without eating !!” He says, not realizing just how sad his words are. “This is no big deal, I could go for days without a single bite-- !!” 

His stomach interrupts him with a growl. The smile on his face slips. 

Sasuke eyes him briefly before sighing.

“Here.”

Naruto stares at the proffered food, blinking in surprise. He shifts his gaze to meet Sasuke’s, puzzled beyond words.

“...Sasuke ?” He asks, expression pinching up in distrust. Sasuke rolls his eyes, and offers up a bit of rice with his chopsticks.

“Wait, Sasuke.” Sakura says, lowering her own chopsticks into her dish. “You can't do that, you heard what Sensei said.”

“Kakashi isn't here.” Sasuke says. “And you heard what he said _earlier._ If we’re going to pass, we need to work as a team.” 

He gestures to Naruto’s prone form. 

“Our team will be ineffective if Naruto doesn't eat. He’ll be weak, and it’ll put us all in jeopardy.” 

Not waiting for Sakura to reply, Sasuke shoves the food into Naruto’s open mouth. Naruto coughs in surprise, managing to choke it all down. 

“Jesus, Sasuke !!” He snaps once he recovers, baring his teeth. “What're you trying to do, kill me ?!”

“No, obviously.” Sasuke says, raising a brow. “Just hurry and eat.” 

“Only if you promise not to choke me to death !!” Naruto shoots back, blond brows twitching angrily beneath his headband. 

A light pink dusts across Sasuke’s cheeks, albeit briefly. He narrows his eyes and continues to feed Naruto, quickly, before Sakura cuts in once more. 

“Hold on, wait.” She sighs, offering up her own bento box. She glances between the two boys, before lowering her gaze. 

Meekly, she continues. “Sasuke, you need more food than I do. I'll share my lunch with Naruto instead.”

A wide smile breaks across Naruto’s face, and he lets out a pleased hum. Sakura eyes him with disdain, pulling the box back into her chest. 

“This is a one-time thing, Naruto !! Don't get any ideas !!”

“It doesn't matter who feeds him, we just need to be fast.” Sasuke says coolly. Sakura nods quickly while Naruto sneers, and proceeds to feed him bites of rice and meat. 

Suddenly, a large gust of wind and smoke envelopes them. Kakashi appears in the center of it all, the eye of the storm, and looms over the three children threateningly. 

“You broke the rules.” He says, tone dripping with venom. “I hope you're ready for your punishment.” 

Naruto wheezes weakly, looking to his teammates for help. They, however, seem to be in the same state as him. He glances back at their instructor, heart beating unevenly in his chest. 

Kakashi straightens his back, creating elaborate hand signs as the storm around them intensifies. 

“Any last words ?” 

Naruto’s entire body shudders, a mixture of fear and adrenaline coursing through him. Teeth clacking together, he stammers; 

“B-but you said--” 

“Yes ?” Kakashi asks, eye narrowing. Naruto swallows nervously, before gathering his wits and continuing with a newfound strength.

“You said there were three of us !! That's what _you_ said !!” He shouts. Surprised with himself, he continues with less confidence. “That's why, Sakura and--”  

“--We’re all on this squad, and we’re all in it together.” Sasuke finishes, firmly. Sakura nods at his side vigorously. 

“That's right !!” She says, rising to her knees. “We gave our lunch to him because the three of us are one !!” 

Naruto is quick to agree, shouting his assent. Kakashi Sensei stalks forward, hands still clasped together. 

“The three of you are _one_ ?! _That's_ your excuse ?!” He asks. The three genin hold their ground, only the smallest of quivers giving them away.

Kakashi takes a knee before them, staring at them seriously before laughing.

“You pass.”

-*- 

Naruto bursts into his apartment with a swift kick to his door.

He tears off his shoes, shucks his dirty clothes and dons something a bit more comfortable before running over to his bed. He laughs triumphantly, rolling himself into a blanket-burrito and face-plants into his pillow.

He laughs so hard he nearly cries. Excitement squirms in his guts like some kind of parasite, and the thought would make him nauseous if he weren’t beside himself with joy.

_Now_ he’s officially a ninja.


End file.
